I don’t know what I “should” write about today so I hope you will indulge me in just speaking from the heart about what is going on in my life.
I am feeling at times a bit frustrated and overwhelmed. I am feeling less than untalented and just plain icky. Then I feel bad for feeling those things as I really do have a wonderful life. I greatly dislike being cranky.
I feel like it is time for a scheduled overhaul. I am so tired and finally coming to terms with all o the hats I wear. I have pretended for a very long time that I was a stay at home mom and wife. That is what I think of myself as anyway. But no I am not. I am a caregiver to my mom. The one who is not only there to pick up the pieces of an episode but also the one that tries to plot out how to navigate through our new reality. It can be frustrating and time-consuming but it is worth it really. I am glad I am able to be here in this way and offer whatever talents I may have. It is a new role and I guess I have been pretending it wasn’t happening. On top of that with the new reality of moms health I also find myself needed back in the office. She handled so much of the family business and it is mind-boggling to try to keep up and figure it all out.
Meanwhile little is not pleased that mom is not around all the time. It has thrown off our rhythm so it is time to find a new one. That is kind of what life is right adjusting to where it takes you and trying hard to make sure nothing gets lost in the cracks.
Don’t get me wrong I really like a lot of my hats. I like I can be here for mom. I love being a mom, which doesn’t make it any easier lol. I am finally embracing my role in my coven and I enjoy that immensely. I have also found that my channaling has kicked in threefold. I often wonder if I was given that gift because I have a loud mouth lol. I mean who doesn’t want to text someone in the morning with “I have received a message for you and it is….” the wooo wooo crazy stuff has kicked up a few notches now that I am letting it and some of it has been trying but educational and most of it is very good.
Mostly I am trying to be in the now and be calm. If I can manage those two things I can manage anything!