How are you raising your kid

The question of weather or not people are or intend to raise their children pagan or not seems to be a hot button issue for the community. I have been thinking of it for some time and then I read a book review post by The Ditsy Druid (and more to the point a comment on this post) and I just had to share my opinions (as I am never short on them) for how I am raising my daughter.

In a word, I am not raising her to be pagan. I am raising her to be kind and considerate. To think of others and think for herself. I am raising her to THINK. To explore the information in front of her, to dig deeper and as the questions for the missing information, and come to her own conclusions  I am not interested in telling her what to think about something, I am interested in teaching her how to use critical thinking to figure it out for herself.

I have said many times that I picked this path because it is right for me. That doesn’t mean it is right for anyone else and I honor my daughter by letting her make her own choices. It is the risk you take when you teach self-reliance and independence. I have also said (many times) that my husband is not pagan. Why should I teach our daughter that only one of us can be right? That what dad thinks is not as valid as what mom thinks? This is just disrespectful all around. She will make her own choice when she is old enough.

That said I do let her see my life. I am not ashamed of my life choices nor do I have to be in the broom closet for any reason. We as a family have celebrations together, such as always having breakfast for dinner on a full moon.   She knows I have a special table with special items on it. She knows to thank the plants when we take part of them for use. She knows that nature is important and to be respectful of it. She gets to watch me live my path in a respectful manner. She does not come to circle with me. Not because I am worried this would influence her unduly, but because she is much to young. I know that some folks take their kids to circle with them, and if you have several families together that might work. For me it is my time, my sacred space and how well can I commune if I am worried my 3-year-old is getting in to matches. If she wants to come when she is older that is fine. She can make that choice and my Husband has made it clear that he will honor it.

For now we don’t get into that. We just live our lives by the seasons, with kindness, and generosity and gratitude.

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Categories: daily life | Tags: , , , , | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “How are you raising your kid

  1. This is lovely – and exactly what I mean when I say raise my children Pagan. Teaching them to think for themselves, to be compassionate, to be respectful of nature, and celebrating the Wheel of the Year. I will very openly discuss my beliefs (as well as my non-Pagan husband’s). And of course, one must consider what is and isn’t developmentally appropriate for children to do (matches being a very good example!). I think it’s pretty obvious that a lot of people have had some bad experiences in another religion because they think of rearing children according to a spiritual belief to be brainwashing. I just don’t see it as such. As a parent, your style *will* be influenced by your greater sense of self, sense of purpose, and spirituality. I would rather be open about it, as you say, than keep it from my kids.

  2. You are doing for your daughter the thing that wasn’t done for people like me and so others – you are allowing her to exercise her freedom of choice….just to be truly free and not shackled to any one door in the house of humanity. It’s taken me 40 years to “get free” and I’ll never go back.

  3. I was in such a rush to get this up before nap time ended that I forgot to add a very important part. Like many things in life this idea was modeled for me. First when my mom thought I needed a little more spirituality in my life she said “I think you need spirituality go find it” not here lets go to this place. and secondly at the local Unitarian Universalist church. There religious education program for young people is one of the best I have seen. The young people accompany friends or other members of the congregation to services of other churches/ synagogues/ temples etc. They do not go with their parent as a way for the young person to experiences it in a more free way. They also spend time in nature and spend time in really ugly places like the tenderloin of San Francisco. I heard some of our youth speak of the experience and it was very moving and inspirational and I thought if I have have kids I will do that!

  4. Lleni Carr

    What a lucky kid she is.

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