11 years ago today. I was a sleep at my cousin’s house in L.A. We had celebrated her first babies first birthday the day before. Her husband called home, he was already at work. “I don’t think your cousin is going home today” he told her. We turned on the news. We sat in shock as we watched the replay and the one tower burn. and then the second plane.
To this day I can see it. To this day my eyes fill with tears. I have so many mixed emotions about this that it is hard to get them to hold still long enough. Today first in my mind is my Hubby’s BFF. This tragedy happened 11 years ago changed his life. He like many Americans felt the pull to do something for his country. At this moment he is across the world in Afghanistan. Army. Every night we say a prayer for his safety. which brings me to the prayer for the safety of all that serve.
Which brings me to the deep pain in my heart knowing that across the world children live and die in a war zone. They are not my children but I think when I became a mother, I became part of a clan of mothers. We love our children and all children. I am so Thankful that my Little is tucked into a bed that is safe and warm. That she doesn’t have to see people die in the streets and here bombs exploding over her head. And I am so sad that some children experience this as life.
I am scared that in this country people seem to be losing their mind. There is to much “us” vs “them” and not enough understanding that we are all we. We are so scared so afraid. “They” might do something. We don’t trust our neighbor or someone who looks different or talks different or practices a different religion. We have political leaders saying that we should be able to classify Wicca as real religion. Fear is not Freedom.
If we are afraid of our neighbor or the “other we are not free. We are locked in a jail of a closed and cold heart. We lock the doors to solution through conflict resolution and compromise. This is not the freedom I want for my daughter. I want her to have a big open heart. To know that there will be pain when evil people do evil things but that once persons action does not classify a whole people. I want a freedom for her where she doesn’t live in fear and she can enjoy the beautiful world of ours and all of its people and cultures. I want her uncle to come home! I want babies around the world to be safe.
So I am filled with a mix of love and pain and worry. I am filled with a desire to make not only my country better our world better. And so today I light a candle for the families of the victims of 9/11, the towers, the planes and the military. And I cry some tears. I light a candle for the world to have freedom of fear. And I wipe my tears put my shoulders back and ask myself what can I do today and each day to make this world a better place.