This again is one of those rules that has overall arching applications as well as mundane daily ones. Overall I have found that asking myself this question has led to a lot of insight on my part and to me taking more responsibility for myself. Lets start with the ones every mother knows. lack of sleep, lack of time and lack of self-care. As well as what many families know “if mama ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy” We do really set the tone for the whole family in so many ways and mood is just one of them. So asking myself why I am angry helps not only me but my whole family.
There was a time when Little was about 5 or 6 months old that I noticed I was super cranky! Who was this crazy woman standing in my kitchen and scowling? Oh my it was me. yikes. I decided this is not ok. I don’t like feeling like this. Heck I’m usually and upbeat happy person. This angry one had to go.
Ok clearly I was not getting enough sleep and guess what 2 years later I’m still not. I am doing better. There are no more wake ups to nurse during the night. I on the other hand having been well trained by my kid still wake up at 1am ish, walk through the house looking at everyone else sound asleep, get a glass of water and go back to bed. Also my darling Little likes to wake up around 6. So there is lack of sleep.
Then there was the lack of time. How am I supposed to get all of these things on my to do list done? Why did I have to do so much? Shouldn’t other people be helping me. Whats more is that in my rush to get it all done I often neglected myself and eating. This is particularly bad for me as I have some issues with my blood sugar levels.
I took a look around and realized I need to ask myself why am I so angry and what am I angry about anyway. I did a food elimination diet (28 day break free plan from savingdinner.com) and that helped. I decided I needed to go to bed earlier and that helped. I also try to ask myself this question when ever I am getting angry. What am I angry about. That Little woke me up? No she wakes me up every morning, That I’m tired and I want more sleep? Well yes of course! How to get more sleep? Ah ha, I stayed up to late last night. So I am angry that I stayed up late and I can fix that tonight and go to bed at the proper time. This is one example but it applies to so may things.
By taking the time to think things trough, and problem solving I can get rid of anger. I am responsible for my feelings and I can change how I feel. I don’t have to be cranky and I can take steps to get rid of my anger. Now of course I still get angry and of course there are real issues that are out there that I have no control over that make me angry. As I said before I am only responsible for what I can control and if I can’t control it I need to control the way I think about.